SOCKS?

so i was thinking the other day, when i was putting my shoes on. (no.... really?! you were thinking?!?!!?) the last time i had worn them i had taken them off and had lazily stuffed the socks into the shoes, like many slackers do. so i noticed that the sock i'd worn on my right foot got put in the left shoe. and this got me thinking..
when you buy socks there are no specific right and left foot socks. but after you've worn them once or twice your big toe streaches out one side of the sock and it becomes either a left sock or a right sock..
weird.
more on socks..
where do they disappear to? seriously, you have 10 pair of socks, you do laundry, suddenly you only have 9 1/2 pair!!! one sock disapears!!! never to be seen again...
so after a while, you buy new socks, but they're not the same as your old ones!! so now on laundry day, you not only loose socks but you have to sort through a huge pile of them searching for some that match!!! then, due to the fact that so many of them are missing, and you have a ton of different socks now, you end up with a whole bunch of extra leftover socks. with no matches!!
socks with no friends!! how sad is that?!
eventually, it gets to the point where you could make a sock monkey army with all the spare sockies!!!
but as soon as you do something with an "extra" sock, another one matching it shows up suddenly that is also no longer half of a pair!!
it's like some crazy sock cycle!!!!
- sock is made and stuck in package with others
- sits in store for week
- is purchased and taken home
- is worn and turned into a left or right sock
- is washed and partner is lost
- is left lying on floor in between washing machine and dryer untill match can be found
(now there are 3 possible endings)
1. other sock loses match and is paired up with first sock (happily ever after)
2. sock is lost forever behind dryer
3. sock is tied in a knot and given as new chew toy to dog, who tears it to shreds and leaves it in the backyard to be later run over by lawnmower

........

why do we bother with these things?

C, X, & Q

english is much, much too confuzzling in many ways. spelling is definitely one of them and i will complain about that later. but today i don't care so much about spelling. today i am going to make a fuss about the alphabet. particularly about the letters C, X, and Q.

ok. these are all stupid, pointless letters. why do they exist? they do us no good. let's talk about C. we could just get rid of it! and we should! whenever i tell people this, those who either aren't thinking about it enough or are thinking too hard, all ask the same dumb question. "then how would you spell cat?" where is your brain?!??! K-A-T!! duh! then some try to get me to admit that we need C. they ask "how would you spell things with a CH in them?" well, CH, TH, PH, and SH are stupid anyway. i mean, think about it. they don't even make the sounds they look like they should. K could just be used instead of the C. then it would be KH and it would be just as stupid but at least C would be gone. after that all you have to do is replace C with a K or S depending on the word. PH is the dumbest of all the pointless letter combination things. it should sound something like puh-huh (say this out loud really quick but say it like you're whispering very quietly and don't use your voice.... go ahead........ see what i mean?) instead it makes a ffffffff sound. so F should be used instead of PH which should be gotten rid of.
moving on...

X is the same as C, it should not exist. so, while we're at it let's remove X from the alphabet. all Xs get replaced by KS and Z. (ya know what's great? because C is already gone, no one has to worry about X being replaced with CS in certian words!!) i'm assuming i don't need to eksplain that any further.

OK!! now that we're rid of C and X, let's move on to Q...

IT'S STUPID!! need i say more?

by now i'm sure you've become much smarter then you were 15 minutes ago. so let's not bother with any big long expanations. bye-bye Q, hello KW, bye also to U, who for some reason is always clinging to Q like velcro to........ itself. so, KW, yes! KWU, no!

well, i think we have fiksed the alphabet kwite a bit, don't you? a fantastik improvement, i say.